I Know [But Still Support You]

I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling in the dark and suddenly an idea popped into my head. World Order Governments already forced Purism to put backdoor spyware into my Librem 5, and put a gag order to Purism so if they tell anyone they all go to jail.

The reason I suddenly knew is because of how much all the humans can’t trust each other. They’re all weak in that way. The US government has to identify something like Purism that all the paranoid people buy from, so they can put those customers all on the list. It’s what they do.

Then, they can use the backdoor to record for my entire life every intimate aspect, such as when I farted.

Then they can upload all the years of all of my farts into a fart chart, and use AI on the data in the fart chart to categorize when I didn’t fart, which can be used to deduce my physiological response to when I watched a Japanese Anime with my brother a decade ago. Depending on whether I farted within 17 hours of seeing a cartoon depiction of a 600 year old female vampire take the form of an underage female kid, they can deduce whether I am on the danger list of the bad people.

And suddenly as I stared at the ceiling I knew that for them, building the fart chart was so imperative that in order to protect modern society they would have had to compel Purism to put fart detectors in all these devices that can monitor my body even from a range. For them it is worth compromising everything Purism stands for, just as long as they can detect those people who fart at the wrong time and thus have the correlation with the evil people in how we can predict they’re going to behave.

It’s a matter of keeping people safe – life and death. They don’t care about Purism’s mission of technology toys.

And once I realized it, and how it had to be, I wanted to post on the Purism forums that even though I’m not supposed to know – and I made it up – I know about the fart detectors you guys were forced to put into these things, to compromise your mission for secure or user controllable devices. It was inevitable.

And once I understood, that’s when I wanted to come here and post that, “I know,” to encourage that as a customer even though I know, I don’t care. I want Purism not to give up the ship. Keep things rolling. I’m still a happy custom even when I can deduce and know about the secret fart detector. You shouldn’t have to carry the guilt about that.

Really, it’s the government who is addicted to their fart power who failed. Purism should keep believing in themselves anyway and try to always keep going. I think it’s good to try, to the best extent possible, regardless of whether we win in the end.


Sent from my Librem 5

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What would be the upside? That the folks secretly collecting data and making graphs of my bodily functions might have to look at a fart graph, and in so doing be disgusted with themselves for being a part of that?

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That is the purpose of the warrant canary i.e. Purism can tell everyone without telling anyone.

As at October 1, Purism is by implication indicating that they have not been served by any such evilness, covering a range of products and services.

So far, US courts have accepted warrant canaries as being an appropriate (i.e. legal) workaround.

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This seems odd to me, and I don’t understand why this would be, but I suppose I might be overlooking something obvious.

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That can be partially mitigated by having signatories in different (multiple) jurisdictions. So at least it would require two evil governments cooperating, with two hammers. :wink:

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I was unfamiliar with the warrant canary. Do you have a link to the Purism one?

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Fine by me. It was just a silly dramatization of our technology situation that I dreamed up. : )

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@Dlonk that or straight to canaries · master · Purism / warrant-canary · GitLab

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See also: Purism products feel like an obvious vector for targeting

Install Qubes OS on one of the older machines, if you want to overcome this.

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Now it all makes sense.

So that’s why Purism has been blatantly promoting Flatpaks, and built their PureOS Store exclusively on Flatpak technology. Flatpak is short for Flatulence Package!

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There is one flaw in this plan. The warrant has to be issued. You have to be an active target.

Otherwise the US would have an easier time catching all those loose criminals. The gov’t has to be aware of the crime. So this tells me that illegal farts are not being reported, only collected.

The AI Fart Bot monitoring the Fart Graph can’t report an illegal fart without a warrant. It can only keep adding to the Graph. Of course once the warrant hits, it has all the history of illegal farts to choose from. (No one reads your Fart Graph without a warrant, but can they read meta-Fart data without a warrant?)

e.g. You may have read news reports how they were able to catch the murderer by tracing where the murderer’s phone went to dump the body. But they could only do that after a warrant was issued, not before.

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In this case you may be interested in this project:

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No doubt a safer project than that kid who built a reactor.

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