your experience might suggest otherwise, but the EC commission has a very clear opinion on that (pdf file): https://circabc.europa.eu/sd/a/c9b4bb6f-3313-4c5d-8b4c-c8bbaf0c175a/836%20-%20VAT%20treatment%20of%20Crowd%20funding.pdf
See page 7 talking specifically about reward-based crowdfunding, given that you are even considering a refund, there is a clear link between your payment and the reward; and therefore taxes apply. The gist is (https://www.tax-news.com/news/EU_States_Agree_VAT_Rules_For_Crowdfunding____69706.html):
In its response, the VAT Committee has said it unanimously agrees that reward-based crowdfunding, where the person giving funds to a crowdfunding campaign (“the contributor”) receives in exchange for a contribution a non-financial reward in the form of goods or services from the person receiving funds from contributors through a crowdfunding campaign (“the entrepreneur”), shall constitute a taxable transaction for VAT purposes, provided that there is a direct link between the supply of goods or services and its corresponding consideration collected by way of crowdfunding, and that the entrepreneur is a taxable person acting as such.
If you look at your screenshots you can see that purism very carefully worded “shipping is free”, “no shipping costs” etc… which is technically not the same as VAT (and VAT collecting fees). We might have expected (or hoped for) something different, but they have only promised free shipping so far.
Merry Christmas and an exciting next year everybody!
P.S. the German reselling partner stated (in German) in April that it no longer resells purism stuff, so I don’t think they have a European base…